Amidst the rising tensions in the world around us, people are finding themselves in the unique position of having to make hard decisions about choosing passive observation or active participation, causing some to toss their opinions into the fray of the multitude of voices speaking out within society today.

In contrast to what we have been accustomed to living and being for several decades, the pendulum of Change has begun its swing towards the opposite direction. The social tension created from this shift in direction has many of us unsettled. Enough so that many of us have turned inward in order to make sense of our external reality.

The need to seek balance and stability is inherent within us as human beings. We are meant to understand the other person’s point of view and seek the middle ground in between our two views in order to create perspective. Out of that informed perspective, we make decisions on how to act, our behavior evolves from those decisions, and consequently, our lives come into being from those personal thoughts and actions. This is how human beings are naturally designed to grow, evolve, and become within a constantly ever-changing world. If we are in the right place (along the spectrum of choices), at the right time (to make a decision), then right action (behavior and action) is effortless as we pivot our way into a greater life. This is one of the key tenets of my book, How Me Found I: Mastering the Art of Pivoting Gracefully Through Life.

Compassionate Neutrality vs. “My Way or the Highway”

The word “Dual” means two or something composed of two parts – harmony and balance is achieved in the coming together. The word “Duality” is when the two parts are in opposition to each other – competitive adversaries moving away from each other towards extreme polarization.

In that context, we are naturally hardwired to seek balance, “true inner balance”. Yet our external world is filled with ego-driven polarization ? “duality” ? the corrupted version of what “dual” really means. Because we are naturally designed to always seek balance (whether we are aware of it or not) and because the only constant we can expect in life is “Change”, then balance in an environment of dynamic change is achieved through a “two-party system”, a dual-system structure of compensating complimentary counterparts. As humans, psychologically our dual-system structure is the Ego-Heart handshake. This uniquely human complimentary relationship is inherent within what I call a “Natural Person”. To strive for continual balance is our natural state of mind in dealing with changing realities.

Unfortunately, our society, in its current presence of mind, does not recognize that the ego and the heart has a dual-system relationship, meant to counter balance each other so that we humans can continue to evolve within an ever-changing dynamic environment. For many of us, as we age and grow, the individual personalities that we exhibit outwardly are the reflections of our egos maturing as we learn how to adhere to the conditional social norms set forth for us to survive and operate within society. In contrast to the “natural person”, this ego-developed persona is what I call our “Conditioned Personality”.

Today, the word “dual” has become synonymous with the word “duality”, “It’s my way or the highway,” or “I’m right, you’re wrong”. Absent of the true meaning of a two-party system of balance, we have disintegrated into a mindset of where everything is now seen from the corrupted filters of polarized duality. Collaborative and communal dialogue has given way to personalized monologues based on absolute judgment and opinion.

This need to convince people that one way, and only one way, “my way”, is the cause for the rising tensions in the world today, as evidenced in the political, socio-economic, and ethno-diverse arenas of discussion. Unaware that balance is inherently a desire that we are hardwired for and ignorant that it is a partner to the heart, the ego interprets that innate desire as a need to convince others that its viewpoint is the right way to go and disregards, seeks to dominate, even eliminate the natural role the heart is meant to play. For the ego, all roads must lead to Rome and it is all about me, only me. There can be no other.

We all have individual egos; each convinced that its way is the correct way to go. Our own heartfelt knowing and the innate need for natural equilibrium have been mutated into a need to strive for a dominant view, absent of room for another view to exist. We have left the middle field in the center to take up position at either end of the playing field. As it meets resistance from other egos, our ego’s need for superiority can only lead to an outcome of aggressive force, more domination, and ultimately violence. We will kill to be right. We must be right at all costs. The end justifies the means.

And yet, the heart does exist and is very much a part of our physical and psychological makeup. It cannot be ignored, subjugated, or disregarded. Without the heart, we physically cease to exist. Without the heart, we have no conscience. It is through the heart that we connect to the greater wholeness of life in accordance to God, Nature, and the Universe, whichever you choose to refer to the larger part of who we are. The heart inherently knows that balance is necessary for our very own existence as a species. It defines our humanness, guides our humanitarian endeavors, and nourishes our humanity. It knows that it is the counterpart to the ego in a dual-system structure designed to move towards compassionate neutrality, thus bringing well-being into our lives. It is what allows us to respond to the environment in a nonjudgmental and loving way. It doesn’t need to be justified; it just needs us to be aware so that it can guide the ego towards creating a better life. Together, this heart-ego handshake is what allows us to make sense of what is happening in our extrinsic environment and make the right intrinsic decisions that can mutually benefit ourselves and others, not only ourselves. It is this communal awareness that we are both individually a person, and yet connected to each other as part of an overall human community, that gives us comfort that we are truly ever alone, unprotected, isolated, or abandoned. This awareness is the umbilical existence of our personality within the nesting doll collective of the human species. If we take care and look out for the welfare of others, then in turn we also receive benefit for our own self. Vice versa, if we look for balance within, then our external society also receives the benefit of that internal balance because we will emanate that behavior out into our external world.

In order for us to de-escalate the rising tension and violence in the external world of our society today, we, as members of humanity, need to look within and seek balance the way a natural person would. We need to reestablish the dual-system structure of the ego-heart handshake through intention, voice, and action. Because we are human and inherently designed for balance, we will naturally always seek to return to a state of compassionate neutrality; regardless of how long it takes to do so and despite what our ego thinks. The pendulum will eventually swing from any extreme edge to the center fulcrum.

So when we are at the extreme edge of a pendulum swing (the ego’s viewpoint), the pull from the other extreme edge (the heart’s viewpoint) will become intense enough to cause the pendulum to begin swinging back to the center where the heart’s communal compassion and a neutral ego’s informed judgment jointly resides. It is Mother Nature’s way of ensuring survival in a dynamically changing way.

The fallacy of our egos not understanding this natural fundamental principle of life will cause us to resist that innate impulse of allowing the other viewpoint to change our mind. Instead, we will literally fight to enforce our viewpoint to maintain our position. We don’t want the pendulum to swing at all. We want to remain in status quo, defiant to the extreme, and will react violently, determined to maintain our current position, against all natural forces of movement. This is the cause of the rising tensions in our world today.

We All Have a Choice

As an alternative, may I suggest that it is compassionate neutrality that we all seek, an aligned response to the natural forces of constant change occurring within our environment. It is what Buddhism calls, “the middle way”. It is operating from the center fulcrum of the pendulum swing, the vesica piscis of creation, the ability to see both sides and optimally benefit from the combined viewpoints. It is living life from both the macro and micro views of both the mountain peak and the valley below. This is how we survive, evolve, and grow as humans being humans, citizens of humankind, and as members of the human species.