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Social Isolation and Mental Illness
Think about what it would be like to spend most of your time alone because being around other people is just too difficult. You feel that others are judging you for your mental illness, and so you are scared to face the world. You withdraw to avoid this stigmatization. This social withdrawal is emotionally very costly. But this is a two-way street — the mentally ill withdraw from society–society withdraws from them.
An Australian survey reported that two-thirds of people affected by a mental illness feel lonely “often” or “all of the time”. The research says in contrast, just 10 per cent of the general population reported feelings of loneliness. (1)
Social relationships are important for anyone in maintaining health, but for the mentally ill it is especially important. People with mental illness value contact with family. But families may be unwilling to interact with their mentally ill family member. Social isolation is also sometimes due to the unwillingness of others to befriend the mentally ill. The public may avoid them altogether. The stigma associated with mental illness creates huge barriers to socialization.
People with severe mental illness are probably the most isolated social group of all. They are judged, disrespected and made into pariahs. They fear rejection from others, who may be afraid of the mentally ill, so the mentally ill person may feel overwhelmed by the thought of attempting to form new friendships. Just avoiding any contact is often the choice. Or, they may make a great effort to conceal their condition from others, which results in additional stress from worrying about their true condition being discovered.
It is sometimes the case that the severely mentally ill person becomes homeless. This in itself is isolating, and they then must suffer the double stigmatization of being homeless as well as mentally ill.
Another reason the person with mental illness may experience social isolation is the nature of their mental illness. Social phobias like agoraphobia, or severe anxiety or depression often cause the suffering person to be afraid to venture out into society.
When anyone, mentally ill or not, does not have enough social contact, it affects them mentally and even physically. Loneliness creates stress, taking a toll on health. Other things affected can be the ability to learn and memory function. High blood pressure is also seen. It can be the trigger of depression and alcoholism. (2) Imagine the consequences, then, if you are already depressed or have other mental illnesses? Loneliness can make you worse. Loneliness and loss of self-worth lead many mentally ill to believe that they are useless, and so they live with a sense of hopelessness and low self-esteem.
Social isolation is both a cause and an effect of mental distress. When the person isolates more, they face more mental distress. With more mental distress, they want to isolate. This vicious cycle relegates many people with severe mental illness to a life of social segregation and isolation.
Many people with severe psychiatric disabilities say that the stigma associated with their illness is as distressing as the symptoms themselves. This stigmatization not only prevents them from interacting with others, but may prevent them from seeking treatment, which in turn exposes them to a greater risk of suicide.
Too often the public does not understand the challenges of the mentally ill and doesn’t want to try. It is therefore necessary to confront biased social attitudes in order to reduce the discrimination and stigma of people who are living with mental illness.
References
1. Mentally Ill ‘neglected by communities’. (05/08/2002). Yahoo. AU.
2. Psychology Today. The Dangers of Loneliness. Morano, Hara Estroff. (Aug. 21, 2033).
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This is a very true posting. However, I would like to see more on the solutions that have been recommended and/or successful.
How do we create more understanding in the general population?
How to create more understanding in the general population is a large topic, and will be addressed in future articles. Thanks for the comment!
Even simple tasks like grocery shopping can be difficult if you have agoraphobia, anxiety and depression. Sometimes I feel like all eyes are watching me. After my diagnosis over 10 years ago some family members still don’t understand.
true dat
its amazing how many people do not understand the topic of mental illness this is when i realized the importance of understanding. Without people especially close friends and family unable to understand how you feel that is the hardest!
being diagnosed with depression at only 16 was very hard i was showing a lot of signs of mental illness it was like hell on earth and now im through it all it took a long time but it’s what i call a “miracle.” I now have so much insight and understanding in the behaviour of others this gives me strength. I never realise how many people have so little confidence i think this can lead to mental illness/depressin etc. But somehow, i think its in our genes in the way we thinh and the way we think influences our actions and the way we live.
thank you for your comment terri.
i agree. its also due to environment and people purposely trying to destroy you to get back at you, should we forgive and forget or seek vengeance. awwww i guess sometimes we forgive and forget.
i totally agree with Susan here in saying that you think all eyes are on you. But the sad thing is..people think you are too self-centred, self-absorbed. This does not help the illness it makes the person far worse. We really need to do something as a nation to increase awareness of mental illness…soon!!!!!
i agree with susan too.
no one cares to hear awareness about anxiety or anything.
and who cares what they think anyways. they can all go fk themselves
Isolation, diet, molestion,poor diet, negative thoughts which come from so many sources, childhood diets and vaccines are responsible for the increased diagnois of mental illness. Now factor in hormones, and shifts that take place all your life, and then hooking up with a shrink, who is comped for each prescriptive medicine he writes, who goes by a lttle book called a DSM, so he can bill, and be paid, which is full of weirdness…. Look at the big picture.
What is more important here hooking you on the thought that these mind altering drugs are going to fix you, heal or cure you, is never heard. I managed beginning in 04 to look at all this and went through many emotions, even seeing a formeer shrink in 06 who told me I was never bipolar. I lost 14 years and credibility, cause if a shrink says you’re crazy, you are right? My children ex, my home, my Mom, , my civil rights, untiold monies, my self worth was lost to me, as my family chose isolation. No one should go through what I did, yet it happens. I lost that trusting depenednt persona, and healed using natural suppliments, I am uniquely different, a superhyersensative person, which I have been all my life, and
guard my freedom, and happiness. When I became open to the positive aspects beauty life and love found me. And now I council others, through CCHR.
We are all worthy, and accepting that you are less than, is not right. Who descides what defines normal?
well dona.
“We are all worthy, and accepting that you are less than, is not right. Who descides what defines normal?”
we are not all worthy but you probably are and the people here might be. and i surely am. i think people with anxiety at least some of them are probably better people. im on a biotch rant. who decides what defines normal? majority. i think this majority are the ones who are insane in some ways though. and i disagree with majority.
maybe seperating myself from them for the ways i hate them is what is making me insaner uh i mean more insane.
normal is eating animals. is that normal or is it majority. supporting animal slaughter is normal? noooope. normal is cheating and putting up with cheating behaviour and screwing each other over hey even if you think you have a wonderful husband i know some of them whove cheated on you. what what is normal? some of it is and some of it is insannity. i think facebook is not normal i think its downright insane. but it seems all the world is doing it all these normal people. internet is insane. its all insane. talking on your cell phone every where you go is ridiculous not normal. maybe i should bring up more important issues these are trivial. believe me nothing is trivial.
THIS ARTICLE IS JUST SO TRUE AND SO VERY HELPFUL. I HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA AND
MAJOR DEPRESSION. IT IS OFTEN JAMMED UP AS BEING CALLED SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER. HOWEVER I SEE THEM AS TWO RELATED BUT SEPARATE DISORDERS.
THIS IS BECAUSE MY SCHIZOPHRENIA STARTED AS A SMALL CHILD OF 6 YRS OLD.
I WOULD OFTEN SEE DISTURBING OPEN VIVID HALLUCINATIONS AND HEARD VOICES THAT CONTROLLED ME AND THAT CONSTANTLY TOLD ME THAT THEY WERE GOING TO KILL ME.
IT WAS NOT UNTIL IN MY LATE TEENS THAT I DEVELOPED MAJOR DEPRESSION. IT’S ENTRANCE
IN MY LIFE PRESENTED WITH ME ATTEMPTING SUICIDE AT 19 YEARS OLD. I TOOK A HANDFUL OF PILLS PROBABLY ASPRIN AND DRANK HALF A BOTTLE OF WINE AND WOKE UP. I ONLY TOLD ONE PERSON WHO I SWORE TO SILENCE AND I SOUGHT NO PROFESSIONAL HELP. SEVERAL YEARS
LATER A SECOND SUICIDE ATTEMPT LANDED ME A STRETCH IN THE STATE MENTAL HOSPITAL.
I WAS LOCKED IN A PADDED ROOM FOR SEVERAL DAYS AND NIGHTS – ALONE AND AFRAID.
I WAS TALKED TO BY THE NURSES AND STAFF AS IF I WERE A RAGING LUNATIC. I WAS NOT CRAZY I WAS JUST DEEPLY DEPRESSED AND FELT EXTREMELY SAD. THERE WERE OTHER YOUNG PEOPLE THAT I SAW THERE WHO WERE SUFFERING JUST LIKE ME. I WEPT FOR THEM EVEN THOUGH I NEEDED HELP MYSELF.
I HAVE SINCE BEEN TREATED COUNTLESS TIMES IN EMERGENCY ROOMS FOR COUNSELING, REFERRALS, AND PRESCRIBED MANY DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS BOTH FOR DEPRESSION AND SCHIZOPHRENIA OVER THE YEARS. MOST OF THIS HAS BEEN DONE VERY QUIETLY WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I CHOSE TO KEEP QUIET BECAUSE I HAD OFTEN HEARD FRIENDS MAKE AWFUL COMMENTS ABOUT THE MENTALLY ILL. IT MAKES ME FEEL SAD BECAUSE OF THEIR IGNORANCE AND HOW I WOULD MOST LIKELY BE THE NEXT TARGET OF THIS ABUSE FROM THE HANDS AND MOUTHS OF PEOPLE I HAVE LOVED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE.
MY LATEST MENTAL HEALTH RELAPSE HAS LASTED FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS. IT CAUSED ME TO GO INTO A PROFOUND SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL AND PARANOIA. I STOPPED COMMUNICATING WITH
THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE I KNEW AND WERE VERY CLOSE WITH FOR MOST OF THIS TIME.
I AM CURRENTLY EXITING FROM IT WITH THE HELP OF COUNSELING – NO MEDS THOUGH THEY HAVE BEEN PRESCRIBED. TO NOT RESTART MEDS IS JUST MY CHOICE AT THIS TIME.
I AM OPEN TO IT IF I CANNOT RECOVER BETTER IN MY OWN WAY AND IN MY OWN TIME AS I FEEL COMFORTABLE IN DOING SO. I DO NOT ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FOLLOW ME ON THIS DECISION.
EACH INDIVIDUAL MOST CONSIDER THAT AND CHOOSE WHAT WILL BE IN THEIR BEST INTEREST.
NOW THAT I AM BEGINNING TO FEEL BETTER I FIND MYSELF ASHAMED OF THE WAY I DISAPPEARED FROM FRIENDS AND I REALIZE THAT THEY TOO ARE FEELING VERY BADLY NOT KNOWING WHY I SUDDENLY STOPPED HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM.
IT IS AFTER MUCH DELIBERATION I HAVE MADE A POWERFUL DECISION THAT MAY AFFECT THE REST OF MY LIFE. AFTER SPEAKING WITH MY THERAPIST ABOUT DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH TO MANY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES FOR ALL THIS TIME I HAVE DECIDED TO COME OUT. IT WILL BE IN A WAY THAT I FEEL MOST COMFORTABLE AND AT THE SAME TIME PROVIDE SOME ANSWERS AS TO WHY I LEFT THEM ALONE SUDDENLY WITH NO WORD AND NO WARNING.
I HAVE ELECTED TO EDIT MY REVELATION FOR NOW AS TO NOT OVERWHELM THEM AND INTRODUCE DEPRESSION AS MY DISABILITY. SOME OF YOU MAY NOT AGREE AND FEEL I SHOULD
COME OUT BLAZING WITH BOTH BARRELS – HOWEVER IT IS AN INDIVIDUAL CHOICE FOR EACH ONE AND YOU SHOULD, I FEEL, IN WISDOM NEVER PUT OUT MORE THAN YOU CAN TAKE BACK NOR SHOULD YOU GIVE OTHERS MORE THAN WHAT THEY ARE ABLE TO RECEIVE.
IN TIME I WILL SHARE MORE I DO BELIEVE BUT THIS IS MY STARTING POINT AND MY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO MYSELF. I CHOOSE “THE FREEDOM” TO STOP HIDING AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN OR LET OTHERS SPECULATE – THOSE CLOSEST TO ME WHO DO NOT KNOW MY DIAGNOSIS OF WHOM I
AM ENCLOSING THIS SPECIAL “LOVE NOTE” IN THEIR CHRISTMAS CARDS – AS TO WHY I SOMETIMES IN THEIR OPINION SEEM “STRANGE” TO THEM AT TIMES.
I WOULD ADVISE ANYONE PLANNING TO DO THIS TO FIRST TALK TO YOUR THERAPIST, FRIENDS
WHO SUPPORT YOU OR ARE ALSO DEALING WITH THIS VERY SPECIAL CHALLENGE TO GET SUPPORT AND TO GET A GAME PLAN. IN THE END YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOURSELF AND IF THEY REALLY LOVE YOU – YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR THOSE WHO NEED TO KNOW SO THEY CAN KNOW HOW TO BETTER SUPPORT AND RELATE TO YOU. AS FRIENDS AND FAMILY GOING THROUGH ANY CHALLENGE; BANKRUPTCY, DIVORCE, DIABETES, HYPERTENSION, ETC.
WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER AND NEED TO KNOW HOW TO BEST DO SO. AFTER ALL WE
ARE ONLY HUMAN.
I HOPE THIS POST WILL HELP SOMEONE OUT THERE IN SOME WAY…PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AND LET ME KNOW IF IT HAS. I WILL IN TURN – AS LONG AS THIS POST IS UP – “CHECK IN”
AND LET YOU KNOW HOW THIS YEARS HOLIDAY EVENTS AND REVELATIONS WENT FOR ME.
ALSO IF ANY ONE IS AWARE OF ANY GREAT CHAT SITES OR ONLINE SUPPORT GROUPS FOR
SCHIZOPHRENIA AND/OR DEPRESSION PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
THANKS,
DAVID
I’m going through it and it sucks. I feel bad for people who go through it on the more extreme levels. Although, what I feel is extreme at the moment.
I sit at my desk every night, at my computer now, but in the old days I sat here drawing and writing. But I still sit at my desk every night, because it is really the only safe place to be. I am still single also, at 47 years old, because I have realized that people are constantly trying to suck w from me, to kill me maybe, but I have no proof of their true intentions, or, even that they are humans to begin with. There is just no way to prove any of it (even though my intellect is high enough to know for certain that this whole thing is a hoax of some type).
I think my parents were killed many years ago, as a result of what I think is some type of failure of ‘the test’, during the period between 1977 and 1982. I can’t prove it, but all the observed evidence lends support to my theory. They were then replaced by replicas, programmed to mimic the original behavioral patterns. But I can see through that crap, and I know they are not real because their behavior since then is some type of computer program. Sort of like playing chess with a real person, opposed to playing chess with a computer.. You can just tell, you know? I think they are giving me some hints, probably part of the overall “game” of whatever this is about. . Because I learned about using computers, not long after my parents were killed and replaced by ‘whatever’ kind of entities, this tells me that whoever is behind this whole thing is playing with me, like I’m some sort of play toy or something. It becomes very annoying!
I have been hallucinating since I was about 3 years old. I would see ‘the clown man’ sitting in a chair, staring at me.. Then there was the ‘dream man’, who I would see peeking into my room when I was about 7 years old. As time progressed, the hallucinations faded out, replaced by true revelations of thought, wherein I began to learn the truth of the evil of the alien mentalities who control the Earth and play with us like we are toys, or some sort of science experiment. Some of us can see through this hoax, and do no fall prey to their controlling B.S.
I have selected a specific, what I call a ‘safety zone’, which consists of a ‘near singularity’ type of location on the planet, which has been acquired, curiously, both by coincidence and by willful choice. I am safe here, but when I venture outside of what I call the “neutral zone”, which consists of a small space that is apparently impenetrable to the ‘outsiders’, I come under immediate attack.
When I first read your post I was alone in my house so all confused. Now I’m at the library. I saw it the wrong way so please ignore my first comment if you ever got it. I get really confused in isolation but it’s worse if I am in my house alone.
Isolation makes me so confused.
Events and circumstances pushed me further into a lifestyle of isolation over the past few years. I had been diagnosed repeatedly for thirty years with severe longterm reoccuring depression. No pill or thherapy ever did me any good. I have anxiety and a general distrust and contempt for people in general so felt it was best to avoid contact as much as possible. I work from home after loosing a job two years ago. My income has dropped significantly leaving me with additional stress and I have gradually become a slob and overweight. But recently I have noticed a constant anger with people, possibly due to to much examination and study of our political history and current events with television and the internet being my only non work related contact with the outside world. My political views have put a rift between me and the few family members I am in contact with.
I’ve been concerned that this repeated mundane existance has passed its usefulness in protecting me. I am concerned that since I am having no new or positive interactions that when I dream, my dreams may well be multiplying my stresses and concerns and reinforcing my general rage. I recently watched a doc. that discussed how in our dreams we re live and process and even resolve issues of the day. So if we have deliberately isolated and controlled our days events because of attitudes, we are doomed to cementing thoughts into mantras. I think maybe reading would be a way to reprogram my thought process. I need something new to think about.. I guess what I am saying is that isolation may be much of the reason for mental illness rather than a result of….
Hope this is still active…I have problems with Borderline Personality (traits)ive been told …never diagnosed.One of my biggest fears is loneliness..one of the symptoms is something like disturbed relationships,and the needy -neglect issues in this illness.Sometimes I dont feel like therapy cares diddly.
Thank you very much Dave for sharing your story about schizophrenia. I applaud your decision to be more open to discussing your situation with your close friends.
I have a childhood friend who went through major abuse and was diagnosed as a child with schizophrenia. She was treated but now suffers with chronic depression. She does tend to isolate and distance herself but because she has been open with me about her illness, I respect her decision to withdraw and distance herself from time to time. I can better understand that she needs time to herself.
Also, I have a son who became very suicidal at ten years of age. What started off at ten yrs. as severe depression has recently been diagnosed at seventeen as major depression w/personality disorder. He is now eighteen and has refused any type of help or assistance. To make matters worse, he has shut all of his family, (including myself), out of his life.
People going through mental illness sometimes build walls and are therefore hard to reach. I cry and pray everyday for my son as he has gone away and has shut us all out of his life. Before he left, he told us many times, he was going to change his name and start a new life.
Its only been in the last few weeks have l made the discovery of being an isolationist. I ran accross a story on Yahoo about a work place shooter having mental disorders and being an isolationist. As l was reading the story it became clear that i could relate to just about all his issues, minus the murderous rage of course. This story had a profound effect on me and gave me some hope with the root issue of my depression. Since the age of about six or seven l never wanted to leave the house, take vacations, go hang out with friends for that matter even having friends. From the ages of 8-12 i was pretty much abandoned. My mom left me and my two sisters and my dad was at AA all the time to deal with his issues. Then he met a girl. My sisters went out with their friends and l was completely by myself. I was literally insane and stuffed full of depression and suicidal thoughts. From then on l was living in my own world. Im 32 now and l never had a girlfriend and l am still a virgin. I was raging drunk but now a gd stoner who rarely leaves my apartment. The hardest part is never having girlfriend. Im so lonely and not to make light of the matter,im very horny. Sexual intimacy is important for the human. I can function fine at work and i have a pretty good sense of humor. But l live in my own world and and it sucks. Im very bipolar and l am a sponge for negative emotions. 3/4s of my days l see no reasons to live. Why should l, the lonelyness is crushing. But i have a small amount of hope. I feel that isolation/agoraphobia is big part of my depression that was never diagnosed properly. That explains why nothing was helping. So with this in mind i hope i can come back here and report my progress.
Jason. I love you.
I um… Whenever I watch a psychological anime, and there is a character I like, I seem to actually become that person in real life. In the anime Death Note, there is a detective named ‘L’ and he sits with his knees to his face on a chair and eats stacks of sweets. Ever since watching him I can’t stop it. Now, even when I watch other anime I can’t help but become that person. It’s like a mental tick.
What is this, should I be worried, who do I go see?
Also I seem to talk to myself more and more lately. Is this because I am lonely?
I am 16 and Male, if you need this information…
I was watching this show “Once Upon A Time” because “Snow White” is in it and we have the same childhood kind of and are similar. But since I was isolated with no one on earth to talk to or to think outside my own head and didn’t leave my house but one of the very few things I was doing was watching a season of this show, they were the only people I was seeing, it was all I had to look at in my life… I started to become obsessed with and feel like I was the characters. I became obsessed with Snow White because all I want is to be completely good and angelic and sweet and a better person than everyone else. I wanted to be just like her. And I bought something that said “Snow” to hang on my wall because they called her that in the show. And I thought I was Belle because I was talking to someone who I didn’t know what they looked like and so it made me feel like I was Belle from Beauty and The Beast, but the Belle in the show. For not caring what people look like. I thought I was her. It’s funny. Isolation can make people kind of weird. Sometimes I think I’m an angel. It kind of feels like it because there are so many bad people everywhere and fakeness everywhere I feel like I have to stand against it all.Like I’m the only force of goodness I can see. It can be kinda cool tho I knew this guy who when he was in bad moods he’d dress like Eric Draven in The Crow and act like him. He was obsessed with The Crow. I thought it was pretty cool. I really suck at talking to other people maybe I sound like a raving loon. I come off horrible online after being isolated for so long.
If you are lonely you will talk to yourself. If you have no one to talk to you will probably talk to yourself. If you had people to talk to you wouldn’t. I do it like crazy due to isolation. It’s because you’re lonely that’s all. I get really bored. When I’m depressed I talk to myself to distract myself from being depressed.
Hi all, im new to sharing my story on-line but it seems a place other than a psychiatric unit whereas others have gone through similar experiences to me.
I have been battling and living with mental illness my whole life.lt has effectively had a profound impact around all aspects of my life and nearly completely ending my life on numerous occasions.l have lost family, friends, my ex fiance,my children, numerous jobs and as stated above,nearly my life. But for all ive lost…and continue to lose…after each hospitalisation and/or episode l refuse to give up. Isolation, pain, social stigma and loneliness become second nature as does the constant “re-building” phase after sickness.But rather than dwell on the consequences of my actions, l focus on the solutions. Staying positive is a must but logically life is hard for most of us and incredibly fucking hard for the mentally ill so achieving happiness can only come in moments but thats fine, l can accept that. As a lot of you have said in your posts, l find the loneliness the hardest to deal with but again even loneliness can be easier to cope with than the stigma from society, loved ones and people in general.Thats why l have always felt quite comfortable in psychiatric units as l have others who dont judge me but rather understand me. ( Although with hospitalisation also comes loss of freedom which l despise) but another postive is the fact l always find an attractive girl swinging off my arm! lol
So in concluding a small part of my story l wish to send to all you out there in this big wide world suffering from any form of mental illness, a message that your truly not alone, l know how you feel, stay positive, l and others believe in you, you are unique and special, have all of yourself to offer, are beautiful and last but not least…never ever give up on yourself. ps to all you beautiful ladies out there, yes l am single and available! lol
nice.
There’s nothing wrong with being crazy. Flaunt it. Crazy guys are hot and interesting. I dunno if it’s eccentric or crazy but I like both. Like weirdness. As long as they aren’t bad people or dangerous. Who cares what anyone thinks of you? I don’t like the label mentally ill it makes me want to vomit.
DONT POST SHT ONLINE
delete delete delete
I have never had these problems in my life as much as lately I’m completely loosing my mind. I’m scared all the time I can’t even breath. I feel like I’m trying to save my life even though I know I can’t but I have ran around trying to find safety and the more disappointed I get when I go out I feel like cant these people see I’m dieing all these people around and no one to save me. I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack every day. Thanks for listening.
Mary and all,
It is sad to learn that we are not supported and when we are not, and we are on mind altering medications, with no one to communicate with, life can be dark indeed, especially if one is wed, or siblings, or tired of the “professional” slant on healing.
I have yet to gain the support , acceptance and forgiveness, from those who preferred thinking that I was “crazy” and let me be in that state, than to involve themselves. Next to death, not having one’s mind is a “trip” no one wants to take.. And 13 years , a misdiagnosis, and healed from the medications, I will only heal , the rest, when my 3 children have the facts, as will women who want the same, which I think over laps, showing up, in what is so current in the news , women , hormones, trauma , abuse,in that our social natures , are pointing out just how dangerous this is . And the devastating this is on families and our moral fiber..
For me as it is with many communication is akin to love, and few have “heard” me, for I am not as you are, I am me, and we each deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Our toughest lessons in family/youth stay around until we are able to lay it down and move on.. Medicated on psych RX , made responding in any clear manner, near impossible . I have learned to think on things and not talk immediacies and not to “dog” myself or allow anyone else to do so, in that by putting me down, they feel lifted. NO way.