Social Isolation and Mental Illness




Lone tree on an island

Think about what it would be like to spend most of your time alone because being around other people is just too difficult. You feel that others are judging you for your mental illness, and so you are scared to face the world. You withdraw to avoid this stigmatization. This social withdrawal is emotionally very costly. But this is a two-way street — the mentally ill withdraw from society–society withdraws from them.

An Australian survey reported that two-thirds of people affected by a mental illness feel lonely “often” or “all of the time”. The research says in contrast, just 10 per cent of the general population reported feelings of loneliness. (1)

Social relationships are important for anyone in maintaining health, but for the mentally ill it is especially important. People with mental illness value contact with family. But families may be unwilling to interact with their mentally ill family member. Social isolation is also sometimes due to the unwillingness of others to befriend the mentally ill. The public may avoid them altogether. The stigma associated with mental illness creates huge barriers to socialization.

People with severe mental illness are probably the most isolated social group of all. They are judged, disrespected and made into pariahs. They fear rejection from others, who may be afraid of the mentally ill, so the mentally ill person may feel overwhelmed by the thought of attempting to form new friendships. Just avoiding any contact is often the choice. Or, they may make a great effort to conceal their condition from others, which results in additional stress from worrying about their true condition being discovered.

It is sometimes the case that the severely mentally ill person becomes homeless. This in itself is isolating, and they then must suffer the double stigmatization of being homeless as well as mentally ill.

Another reason the person with mental illness may experience social isolation is the nature of their mental illness. Social phobias like agoraphobia, or severe anxiety or depression often cause the suffering person to be afraid to venture out into society.

When anyone, mentally ill or not, does not have enough social contact, it affects them mentally and even physically. Loneliness creates stress, taking a toll on health. Other things affected can be the ability to learn and memory function. High blood pressure is also seen. It can be the trigger of depression and alcoholism. (2) Imagine the consequences, then, if you are already depressed or have other mental illnesses? Loneliness can make you worse. Loneliness and loss of self-worth lead many mentally ill to believe that they are useless, and so they live with a sense of hopelessness and low self-esteem.

Social isolation is both a cause and an effect of mental distress. When the person isolates more, they face more mental distress. With more mental distress, they want to isolate. This vicious cycle relegates many people with severe mental illness to a life of social segregation and isolation.

Many people with severe psychiatric disabilities say that the stigma associated with their illness is as distressing as the symptoms themselves. This stigmatization not only prevents them from interacting with others, but may prevent them from seeking treatment, which in turn exposes them to a greater risk of suicide.

Too often the public does not understand the challenges of the mentally ill and doesn’t want to try. It is therefore necessary to confront biased social attitudes in order to reduce the discrimination and stigma of people who are living with mental illness.

References

1. Mentally Ill ‘neglected by communities’. (05/08/2002). Yahoo. AU.

Image via KYTan / Shutterstock.

2. Psychology Today. The Dangers of Loneliness. Morano, Hara Estroff. (Aug. 21, 2033).

  • Anonymous

    This is a very true posting. However, I would like to see more on the solutions that have been recommended and/or successful.

    How do we create more understanding in the general population?

  • Elise Stobbe

    How to create more understanding in the general population is a large topic, and will be addressed in future articles. Thanks for the comment!

  • susan

    Even simple tasks like grocery shopping can be difficult if you have agoraphobia, anxiety and depression. Sometimes I feel like all eyes are watching me. After my diagnosis over 10 years ago some family members still don’t understand.

    • mary jane

      true dat

  • just me

    its amazing how many people do not understand the topic of mental illness this is when i realized the importance of understanding. Without people especially close friends and family unable to understand how you feel that is the hardest!

  • terri

    being diagnosed with depression at only 16 was very hard i was showing a lot of signs of mental illness it was like hell on earth and now im through it all it took a long time but it’s what i call a “miracle.” I now have so much insight and understanding in the behaviour of others this gives me strength. I never realise how many people have so little confidence i think this can lead to mental illness/depressin etc. But somehow, i think its in our genes in the way we thinh and the way we think influences our actions and the way we live.

    • mary jane

      thank you for your comment terri.
      i agree. its also due to environment and people purposely trying to destroy you to get back at you, should we forgive and forget or seek vengeance. awwww i guess sometimes we forgive and forget.

      • richard

        this article was nice to read. all my life ive felt weighed down by curses, and more painful by far then the symptoms of this horrible sickness is the way i have been treated by others and my family and the way i am discounted, discredited and betrayed. when i was younger i was made fun of a lot for my temper by everyone in my life, its just like you wrote it.

        everyday is a war with demons. they are real, made manifest through the many curses i am afflicted with. i read the bible everyday, always seek God, and for reasons ill never understand this curse has not been lifted. i dont see any benefit in being chained in this prison between my ears and being hated by everyone for being born with sicknesses, despite the fact i still love everyone. the amount psychological torture and abuse i have undergone throughout my life, you wouldnt believe me if i told you. people can hurt more than the effects from this demonic curse.

        so what is wrong with staying away from all of that… probably tired of constantly being hurt and marginalized and having haughty folks look down on me and give me those “knowing” (they know nothing) and cruel smirks. i wouldnt wish this disease on my worst enemies, though they seem to be everyone i know, and they all seem to be glad to imagine they had wished it on me. i thank God that no one else in my generation has to suffer this nightmarish half life, and im glad their reputations arent like mine. i wish i was the only one in the world with this so no one else had to suffer this misery every day. it blows my mind there are so many other people going through it.

        this is a war, plain and simple.

  • Hearin’ voices

    i totally agree with Susan here in saying that you think all eyes are on you. But the sad thing is..people think you are too self-centred, self-absorbed. This does not help the illness it makes the person far worse. We really need to do something as a nation to increase awareness of mental illness…soon!!!!!

    • mary jane

      i agree with susan too.
      no one cares to hear awareness about anxiety or anything.
      and who cares what they think anyways. they can all go fk themselves

  • Dona Wheeler

    Isolation, diet, molestion,poor diet, negative thoughts which come from so many sources, childhood diets and vaccines are responsible for the increased diagnois of mental illness. Now factor in hormones, and shifts that take place all your life, and then hooking up with a shrink, who is comped for each prescriptive medicine he writes, who goes by a lttle book called a DSM, so he can bill, and be paid, which is full of weirdness…. Look at the big picture.

    What is more important here hooking you on the thought that these mind altering drugs are going to fix you, heal or cure you, is never heard. I managed beginning in 04 to look at all this and went through many emotions, even seeing a formeer shrink in 06 who told me I was never bipolar. I lost 14 years and credibility, cause if a shrink says you’re crazy, you are right? My children ex, my home, my Mom, , my civil rights, untiold monies, my self worth was lost to me, as my family chose isolation. No one should go through what I did, yet it happens. I lost that trusting depenednt persona, and healed using natural suppliments, I am uniquely different, a superhyersensative person, which I have been all my life, and
    guard my freedom, and happiness. When I became open to the positive aspects beauty life and love found me. And now I council others, through CCHR.

    We are all worthy, and accepting that you are less than, is not right. Who descides what defines normal?

    • mary jane

      well dona.
      “We are all worthy, and accepting that you are less than, is not right. Who descides what defines normal?”
      we are not all worthy but you probably are and the people here might be. and i surely am. i think people with anxiety at least some of them are probably better people. im on a biotch rant. who decides what defines normal? majority. i think this majority are the ones who are insane in some ways though. and i disagree with majority.
      maybe seperating myself from them for the ways i hate them is what is making me insaner uh i mean more insane.
      normal is eating animals. is that normal or is it majority. supporting animal slaughter is normal? noooope. normal is cheating and putting up with cheating behaviour and screwing each other over hey even if you think you have a wonderful husband i know some of them whove cheated on you. what what is normal? some of it is and some of it is insannity. i think facebook is not normal i think its downright insane. but it seems all the world is doing it all these normal people. internet is insane. its all insane. talking on your cell phone every where you go is ridiculous not normal. maybe i should bring up more important issues these are trivial. believe me nothing is trivial.

  • DAVID IS GONNA BE FREE

    THIS ARTICLE IS JUST SO TRUE AND SO VERY HELPFUL. I HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA AND
    MAJOR DEPRESSION. IT IS OFTEN JAMMED UP AS BEING CALLED SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER. HOWEVER I SEE THEM AS TWO RELATED BUT SEPARATE DISORDERS.

    THIS IS BECAUSE MY SCHIZOPHRENIA STARTED AS A SMALL CHILD OF 6 YRS OLD.
    I WOULD OFTEN SEE DISTURBING OPEN VIVID HALLUCINATIONS AND HEARD VOICES THAT CONTROLLED ME AND THAT CONSTANTLY TOLD ME THAT THEY WERE GOING TO KILL ME.

    IT WAS NOT UNTIL IN MY LATE TEENS THAT I DEVELOPED MAJOR DEPRESSION. IT’S ENTRANCE
    IN MY LIFE PRESENTED WITH ME ATTEMPTING SUICIDE AT 19 YEARS OLD. I TOOK A HANDFUL OF PILLS PROBABLY ASPRIN AND DRANK HALF A BOTTLE OF WINE AND WOKE UP. I ONLY TOLD ONE PERSON WHO I SWORE TO SILENCE AND I SOUGHT NO PROFESSIONAL HELP. SEVERAL YEARS
    LATER A SECOND SUICIDE ATTEMPT LANDED ME A STRETCH IN THE STATE MENTAL HOSPITAL.

    I WAS LOCKED IN A PADDED ROOM FOR SEVERAL DAYS AND NIGHTS – ALONE AND AFRAID.
    I WAS TALKED TO BY THE NURSES AND STAFF AS IF I WERE A RAGING LUNATIC. I WAS NOT CRAZY I WAS JUST DEEPLY DEPRESSED AND FELT EXTREMELY SAD. THERE WERE OTHER YOUNG PEOPLE THAT I SAW THERE WHO WERE SUFFERING JUST LIKE ME. I WEPT FOR THEM EVEN THOUGH I NEEDED HELP MYSELF.

    I HAVE SINCE BEEN TREATED COUNTLESS TIMES IN EMERGENCY ROOMS FOR COUNSELING, REFERRALS, AND PRESCRIBED MANY DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS BOTH FOR DEPRESSION AND SCHIZOPHRENIA OVER THE YEARS. MOST OF THIS HAS BEEN DONE VERY QUIETLY WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I CHOSE TO KEEP QUIET BECAUSE I HAD OFTEN HEARD FRIENDS MAKE AWFUL COMMENTS ABOUT THE MENTALLY ILL. IT MAKES ME FEEL SAD BECAUSE OF THEIR IGNORANCE AND HOW I WOULD MOST LIKELY BE THE NEXT TARGET OF THIS ABUSE FROM THE HANDS AND MOUTHS OF PEOPLE I HAVE LOVED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE.

    MY LATEST MENTAL HEALTH RELAPSE HAS LASTED FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS. IT CAUSED ME TO GO INTO A PROFOUND SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL AND PARANOIA. I STOPPED COMMUNICATING WITH
    THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE I KNEW AND WERE VERY CLOSE WITH FOR MOST OF THIS TIME.
    I AM CURRENTLY EXITING FROM IT WITH THE HELP OF COUNSELING – NO MEDS THOUGH THEY HAVE BEEN PRESCRIBED. TO NOT RESTART MEDS IS JUST MY CHOICE AT THIS TIME.
    I AM OPEN TO IT IF I CANNOT RECOVER BETTER IN MY OWN WAY AND IN MY OWN TIME AS I FEEL COMFORTABLE IN DOING SO. I DO NOT ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FOLLOW ME ON THIS DECISION.
    EACH INDIVIDUAL MOST CONSIDER THAT AND CHOOSE WHAT WILL BE IN THEIR BEST INTEREST.

    NOW THAT I AM BEGINNING TO FEEL BETTER I FIND MYSELF ASHAMED OF THE WAY I DISAPPEARED FROM FRIENDS AND I REALIZE THAT THEY TOO ARE FEELING VERY BADLY NOT KNOWING WHY I SUDDENLY STOPPED HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM.

    IT IS AFTER MUCH DELIBERATION I HAVE MADE A POWERFUL DECISION THAT MAY AFFECT THE REST OF MY LIFE. AFTER SPEAKING WITH MY THERAPIST ABOUT DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH TO MANY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES FOR ALL THIS TIME I HAVE DECIDED TO COME OUT. IT WILL BE IN A WAY THAT I FEEL MOST COMFORTABLE AND AT THE SAME TIME PROVIDE SOME ANSWERS AS TO WHY I LEFT THEM ALONE SUDDENLY WITH NO WORD AND NO WARNING.

    I HAVE ELECTED TO EDIT MY REVELATION FOR NOW AS TO NOT OVERWHELM THEM AND INTRODUCE DEPRESSION AS MY DISABILITY. SOME OF YOU MAY NOT AGREE AND FEEL I SHOULD
    COME OUT BLAZING WITH BOTH BARRELS – HOWEVER IT IS AN INDIVIDUAL CHOICE FOR EACH ONE AND YOU SHOULD, I FEEL, IN WISDOM NEVER PUT OUT MORE THAN YOU CAN TAKE BACK NOR SHOULD YOU GIVE OTHERS MORE THAN WHAT THEY ARE ABLE TO RECEIVE.

    IN TIME I WILL SHARE MORE I DO BELIEVE BUT THIS IS MY STARTING POINT AND MY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO MYSELF. I CHOOSE “THE FREEDOM” TO STOP HIDING AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN OR LET OTHERS SPECULATE – THOSE CLOSEST TO ME WHO DO NOT KNOW MY DIAGNOSIS OF WHOM I
    AM ENCLOSING THIS SPECIAL “LOVE NOTE” IN THEIR CHRISTMAS CARDS – AS TO WHY I SOMETIMES IN THEIR OPINION SEEM “STRANGE” TO THEM AT TIMES.

    I WOULD ADVISE ANYONE PLANNING TO DO THIS TO FIRST TALK TO YOUR THERAPIST, FRIENDS
    WHO SUPPORT YOU OR ARE ALSO DEALING WITH THIS VERY SPECIAL CHALLENGE TO GET SUPPORT AND TO GET A GAME PLAN. IN THE END YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOURSELF AND IF THEY REALLY LOVE YOU – YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR THOSE WHO NEED TO KNOW SO THEY CAN KNOW HOW TO BETTER SUPPORT AND RELATE TO YOU. AS FRIENDS AND FAMILY GOING THROUGH ANY CHALLENGE; BANKRUPTCY, DIVORCE, DIABETES, HYPERTENSION, ETC.
    WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER AND NEED TO KNOW HOW TO BEST DO SO. AFTER ALL WE
    ARE ONLY HUMAN.

    I HOPE THIS POST WILL HELP SOMEONE OUT THERE IN SOME WAY…PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AND LET ME KNOW IF IT HAS. I WILL IN TURN – AS LONG AS THIS POST IS UP – “CHECK IN”
    AND LET YOU KNOW HOW THIS YEARS HOLIDAY EVENTS AND REVELATIONS WENT FOR ME.
    ALSO IF ANY ONE IS AWARE OF ANY GREAT CHAT SITES OR ONLINE SUPPORT GROUPS FOR
    SCHIZOPHRENIA AND/OR DEPRESSION PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

    THANKS,
    DAVID

    • isa

      I’m going through it and it sucks. I feel bad for people who go through it on the more extreme levels. Although, what I feel is extreme at the moment.

      • Phil

        I sit at my desk every night, at my computer now, but in the old days I sat here drawing and writing. But I still sit at my desk every night, because it is really the only safe place to be. I am still single also, at 47 years old, because I have realized that people are constantly trying to suck w from me, to kill me maybe, but I have no proof of their true intentions, or, even that they are humans to begin with. There is just no way to prove any of it (even though my intellect is high enough to know for certain that this whole thing is a hoax of some type).
        I think my parents were killed many years ago, as a result of what I think is some type of failure of ‘the test’, during the period between 1977 and 1982. I can’t prove it, but all the observed evidence lends support to my theory. They were then replaced by replicas, programmed to mimic the original behavioral patterns. But I can see through that crap, and I know they are not real because their behavior since then is some type of computer program. Sort of like playing chess with a real person, opposed to playing chess with a computer.. You can just tell, you know? I think they are giving me some hints, probably part of the overall “game” of whatever this is about. . Because I learned about using computers, not long after my parents were killed and replaced by ‘whatever’ kind of entities, this tells me that whoever is behind this whole thing is playing with me, like I’m some sort of play toy or something. It becomes very annoying!
        I have been hallucinating since I was about 3 years old. I would see ‘the clown man’ sitting in a chair, staring at me.. Then there was the ‘dream man’, who I would see peeking into my room when I was about 7 years old. As time progressed, the hallucinations faded out, replaced by true revelations of thought, wherein I began to learn the truth of the evil of the alien mentalities who control the Earth and play with us like we are toys, or some sort of science experiment. Some of us can see through this hoax, and do no fall prey to their controlling B.S.
        I have selected a specific, what I call a ‘safety zone’, which consists of a ‘near singularity’ type of location on the planet, which has been acquired, curiously, both by coincidence and by willful choice. I am safe here, but when I venture outside of what I call the “neutral zone”, which consists of a small space that is apparently impenetrable to the ‘outsiders’, I come under immediate attack.

        • Mary Jane

          When I first read your post I was alone in my house so all confused. Now I’m at the library. I saw it the wrong way so please ignore my first comment if you ever got it. I get really confused in isolation but it’s worse if I am in my house alone.
          Isolation makes me so confused.

        • richard

          phil,
          that is seriously intense and real. i have experienced similar things. its bery dehumanizing to feel those things. all i do is when i see my mom or someone i care about, i give them a hug and it reminds me that we are not at war with flesh, but with evil principalities. hosts of spiritual wickedness in the heavenly places. i pray for you to find peace man. im sorry you experience that, ive had that happen very few times, but it violently fractures my heart everytime it has happened, and i always remember how much i love everyone, especially those who hate me (or i hallucinate hate me, either way it doesnt matter).

          these mental illnesses give me experiences that are quite demonic. if i could imagine what it would be like to be haunted/possessed by demons, it would be mental illness. i ache so much for everyone who goes through it. phil, i hope things become more peaceful for you. it hurts when my family and friends turn on me while i am at war with demons. it doesnt help, i mean, i feel we all can see what is happening from their perspectives, but unfortunately people looking at people like us from the outside, there is no other relevant perspective avaliable. our side of things is only there to be discredited. but we arent each others enemies, we are all in this together. there are clearly demonic forces ruling this world, it is a ravaged planet. spiritually and otherwise.

          peace phil,
          richard

  • jenai

    Events and circumstances pushed me further into a lifestyle of isolation over the past few years. I had been diagnosed repeatedly for thirty years with severe longterm reoccuring depression. No pill or thherapy ever did me any good. I have anxiety and a general distrust and contempt for people in general so felt it was best to avoid contact as much as possible. I work from home after loosing a job two years ago. My income has dropped significantly leaving me with additional stress and I have gradually become a slob and overweight. But recently I have noticed a constant anger with people, possibly due to to much examination and study of our political history and current events with television and the internet being my only non work related contact with the outside world. My political views have put a rift between me and the few family members I am in contact with.

    I’ve been concerned that this repeated mundane existance has passed its usefulness in protecting me. I am concerned that since I am having no new or positive interactions that when I dream, my dreams may well be multiplying my stresses and concerns and reinforcing my general rage. I recently watched a doc. that discussed how in our dreams we re live and process and even resolve issues of the day. So if we have deliberately isolated and controlled our days events because of attitudes, we are doomed to cementing thoughts into mantras. I think maybe reading would be a way to reprogram my thought process. I need something new to think about.. I guess what I am saying is that isolation may be much of the reason for mental illness rather than a result of….

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  • Nancy

    Hope this is still active…I have problems with Borderline Personality (traits)ive been told …never diagnosed.One of my biggest fears is loneliness..one of the symptoms is something like disturbed relationships,and the needy -neglect issues in this illness.Sometimes I dont feel like therapy cares diddly.

  • Rita

    Thank you very much Dave for sharing your story about schizophrenia. I applaud your decision to be more open to discussing your situation with your close friends.

    I have a childhood friend who went through major abuse and was diagnosed as a child with schizophrenia. She was treated but now suffers with chronic depression. She does tend to isolate and distance herself but because she has been open with me about her illness, I respect her decision to withdraw and distance herself from time to time. I can better understand that she needs time to herself.

    Also, I have a son who became very suicidal at ten years of age. What started off at ten yrs. as severe depression has recently been diagnosed at seventeen as major depression w/personality disorder. He is now eighteen and has refused any type of help or assistance. To make matters worse, he has shut all of his family, (including myself), out of his life.

    People going through mental illness sometimes build walls and are therefore hard to reach. I cry and pray everyday for my son as he has gone away and has shut us all out of his life. Before he left, he told us many times, he was going to change his name and start a new life.

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  • jason w

    Its only been in the last few weeks have l made the discovery of being an isolationist. I ran accross a story on Yahoo about a work place shooter having mental disorders and being an isolationist. As l was reading the story it became clear that i could relate to just about all his issues, minus the murderous rage of course. This story had a profound effect on me and gave me some hope with the root issue of my depression. Since the age of about six or seven l never wanted to leave the house, take vacations, go hang out with friends for that matter even having friends. From the ages of 8-12 i was pretty much abandoned. My mom left me and my two sisters and my dad was at AA all the time to deal with his issues. Then he met a girl. My sisters went out with their friends and l was completely by myself. I was literally insane and stuffed full of depression and suicidal thoughts. From then on l was living in my own world. Im 32 now and l never had a girlfriend and l am still a virgin. I was raging drunk but now a gd stoner who rarely leaves my apartment. The hardest part is never having girlfriend. Im so lonely and not to make light of the matter,im very horny. Sexual intimacy is important for the human. I can function fine at work and i have a pretty good sense of humor. But l live in my own world and and it sucks. Im very bipolar and l am a sponge for negative emotions. 3/4s of my days l see no reasons to live. Why should l, the lonelyness is crushing. But i have a small amount of hope. I feel that isolation/agoraphobia is big part of my depression that was never diagnosed properly. That explains why nothing was helping. So with this in mind i hope i can come back here and report my progress.

    • mary jane

      Jason. I love you.

    • richard

      Jason,
      i havent had a girl friend either, things that have happened in my life make it an almost impossibility now, even though im 23. im a romantic, i mean, not that it matters at this point. im very sensitive and i desire so much the intimacy, i want to really share my life with someone beautiful.

      i want to be an awesome cook like my mom and fill the house with great food and feed my family and do romantic things to show my family i love them and to do things for my wife. but right now, especially as we seem to be in the endtimes. not too sure whats up for us. i feel like i know what youre feeling, i guess, just dont give up on it happening. dont give up on yourself. also, please stop smoking weed. it is greencrack man. deceptively addictive. its bad news and ridiculously overrated and unneccesary, especially for people like us. it took me a few attempts but ive been clean for a few years now. its made all the difference, i shudder to think how i would be if i hadnt given the drugs up.

      peace man. hope you find love,
      richard

  • No

    I um… Whenever I watch a psychological anime, and there is a character I like, I seem to actually become that person in real life. In the anime Death Note, there is a detective named ‘L’ and he sits with his knees to his face on a chair and eats stacks of sweets. Ever since watching him I can’t stop it. Now, even when I watch other anime I can’t help but become that person. It’s like a mental tick.

    What is this, should I be worried, who do I go see?

    Also I seem to talk to myself more and more lately. Is this because I am lonely?
    I am 16 and Male, if you need this information…

    • Mary Jane

      I was watching this show “Once Upon A Time” because “Snow White” is in it and we have the same childhood kind of and are similar. But since I was isolated with no one on earth to talk to or to think outside my own head and didn’t leave my house but one of the very few things I was doing was watching a season of this show, they were the only people I was seeing, it was all I had to look at in my life… I started to become obsessed with and feel like I was the characters. I became obsessed with Snow White because all I want is to be completely good and angelic and sweet and a better person than everyone else. I wanted to be just like her. And I bought something that said “Snow” to hang on my wall because they called her that in the show. And I thought I was Belle because I was talking to someone who I didn’t know what they looked like and so it made me feel like I was Belle from Beauty and The Beast, but the Belle in the show. For not caring what people look like. I thought I was her. It’s funny. Isolation can make people kind of weird. Sometimes I think I’m an angel. It kind of feels like it because there are so many bad people everywhere and fakeness everywhere I feel like I have to stand against it all.Like I’m the only force of goodness I can see. It can be kinda cool tho I knew this guy who when he was in bad moods he’d dress like Eric Draven in The Crow and act like him. He was obsessed with The Crow. I thought it was pretty cool. I really suck at talking to other people maybe I sound like a raving loon. I come off horrible online after being isolated for so long.

    • Mary Jane

      If you are lonely you will talk to yourself. If you have no one to talk to you will probably talk to yourself. If you had people to talk to you wouldn’t. I do it like crazy due to isolation. It’s because you’re lonely that’s all. I get really bored. When I’m depressed I talk to myself to distract myself from being depressed.

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  • Kane

    Hi all, im new to sharing my story on-line but it seems a place other than a psychiatric unit whereas others have gone through similar experiences to me.
    I have been battling and living with mental illness my whole life.lt has effectively had a profound impact around all aspects of my life and nearly completely ending my life on numerous occasions.l have lost family, friends, my ex fiance,my children, numerous jobs and as stated above,nearly my life. But for all ive lost…and continue to lose…after each hospitalisation and/or episode l refuse to give up. Isolation, pain, social stigma and loneliness become second nature as does the constant “re-building” phase after sickness.But rather than dwell on the consequences of my actions, l focus on the solutions. Staying positive is a must but logically life is hard for most of us and incredibly fucking hard for the mentally ill so achieving happiness can only come in moments but thats fine, l can accept that. As a lot of you have said in your posts, l find the loneliness the hardest to deal with but again even loneliness can be easier to cope with than the stigma from society, loved ones and people in general.Thats why l have always felt quite comfortable in psychiatric units as l have others who dont judge me but rather understand me. ( Although with hospitalisation also comes loss of freedom which l despise) but another postive is the fact l always find an attractive girl swinging off my arm! lol
    So in concluding a small part of my story l wish to send to all you out there in this big wide world suffering from any form of mental illness, a message that your truly not alone, l know how you feel, stay positive, l and others believe in you, you are unique and special, have all of yourself to offer, are beautiful and last but not least…never ever give up on yourself. ps to all you beautiful ladies out there, yes l am single and available! lol

    • CL

      nice.

    • mary jane

      There’s nothing wrong with being crazy. Flaunt it. Crazy guys are hot and interesting. I dunno if it’s eccentric or crazy but I like both. Like weirdness. As long as they aren’t bad people or dangerous. Who cares what anyone thinks of you? I don’t like the label mentally ill it makes me want to vomit.
      DONT POST SHT ONLINE

  • mary jane

    delete delete delete

  • Kelly

    I have never had these problems in my life as much as lately I’m completely loosing my mind. I’m scared all the time I can’t even breath. I feel like I’m trying to save my life even though I know I can’t but I have ran around trying to find safety and the more disappointed I get when I go out I feel like cant these people see I’m dieing all these people around and no one to save me. I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack every day. Thanks for listening.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DonaCelestiaLuna Dona Luna

    Mary and all,

    It is sad to learn that we are not supported and when we are not, and we are on mind altering medications, with no one to communicate with, life can be dark indeed, especially if one is wed, or siblings, or tired of the “professional” slant on healing.

    I have yet to gain the support , acceptance and forgiveness, from those who preferred thinking that I was “crazy” and let me be in that state, than to involve themselves. Next to death, not having one’s mind is a “trip” no one wants to take.. And 13 years , a misdiagnosis, and healed from the medications, I will only heal , the rest, when my 3 children have the facts, as will women who want the same, which I think over laps, showing up, in what is so current in the news , women , hormones, trauma , abuse,in that our social natures , are pointing out just how dangerous this is . And the devastating this is on families and our moral fiber..
    For me as it is with many communication is akin to love, and few have “heard” me, for I am not as you are, I am me, and we each deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Our toughest lessons in family/youth stay around until we are able to lay it down and move on.. Medicated on psych RX , made responding in any clear manner, near impossible . I have learned to think on things and not talk immediacies and not to “dog” myself or allow anyone else to do so, in that by putting me down, they feel lifted. NO way.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/DonaCelestiaLuna Dona Luna

    It is the worst part , and having been in in that Hellish world, for 13 years to find thru research and faith in myself, (that took many different approaches) that I was misdiagnosed !!!!
    Mercury dental fillings, Bad Marriage, Trauma non resolved or even acknowledged as a 4 year old who was molested, non nurturing from and by Mother, LOW Thyroid(no psych drugs should be given per DSM)
    and I was allergic to metals, Lithium which I was started out on, and many others made me very ill, mentally, physically and mentally.

    Much much more, Mania, caused by drugs, depression so bad I know the look, the smell, the taste, exacerbated by toxic to me drugs

    Lost in the fire, 3 sons, my rights, my voice was never heard.

    And the stigma…. continues from the same people, many family who were never there for me. Considered it “my” problem”

    I recovered from the drugs in 06, and spiritually, networking, research and finally a move 50 miles away. brought be front and center with the fact that I am a HSP. and I use that to aid others. I now move on to alienation within my martial home, that
    separated me from my 3 sons, as the toxic Big Pharma drugs, separated me from what I did know . Finding my way out of that
    I found me, under layers of not mattering, of not being heard, family, professionals and the people who had no clue, what a travesty was dealt on my sons thru society etc disposal of me as a mental patient

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  • Jib

    Matt Stone (180 Degree Health), Ray Peat and Danny Roddy have been tremendously helpful resources for me. Ray Peat wrote a particularly good article called “Thyroid, insomnia, and the insanities: Commonalities in disease,” which you can find by doing a Google search.

    I’ve also been trying EFT (emotional freedom technique), which seems to be helping.

    That said, loneliness and socializing/forming relationships in general is a huge player for me. Long story short, at this point in my life right now, after all the years of hell I’ve been through with mental problems, psychiatric “care”, having a nervous breakdown, being committed to mental hospitals, medication, etc…human contact is *still* the #1 issue that, on any given day, can make me feel like I’m on the verge of having another nervous breakdown.

    Yourbrainonporn.com has a lot of interesting information. I’ve been trying to stop using porn and also stop masturbating so much in an attempt to get my brain under control and start thinking about what I want instead of feeling like I’m trapped in a world where I can have nothing that I want.

    I spent a ton of my time in my teens fantasizing about women to escape the hellhole I was living in. A lot of times at night inbetween cutting myself or pulling out hairs in my arms and legs and rocking myself back and forth I would create vivid fantasy worlds in my head with some kind of girl, and it would all revolve around the feeling of loving and being loved, touching and being touched, feeling safe, calm, relaxed.

    Years later, I still resort to that kind of fantasizing, and it’s just an indication to me of what I intuitively knew to be true when I was in my early teens: that love, attention, affection, and a sense of belonging are all extremely important. I tend to hyper-focus on sex because of the extreme lack of it in my life (still a virgin, and only had a little sexual experience with one woman in my life)…

    …but this applies to all of life. Having friends that can appreciate you and accept you for who you are, being able to engage in work or some kind of miscellaneous activity (like commenting on blogs) that makes you feel fulfilled or like you’re contributing something and have a chance to express yourself…those are all just as important.

    Porn became an outlet for me and I became addicted to it, just trying to numb the feelings of loneliness and the pain of desperately craving love and attention by mindlessly jerking off, focusing as much as possible on getting off and finding hotter pictures/videos and as little as possible on my thoughts or emotions.

    The pain of being rejected, especially when it’s because you were acting “weird” when you were in a lot of pain, can be devastating. You feel like you have no control over your mind and then you act or speak in ways that people judge you immensely for, and the you feel like you’re a bad person, that you’re defective, and when this keeps happening over and over again it’s enough to drive a person to suicide.

    I know how it feels to feel so lonely and abandoned that you want to kill yourself. That said, sometimes it’s painful, but sometimes it helps to fantasize about what you’d like to have in your life. Part of me is really sad and extremely frustrated that I don’t have the love and affection I want in my life, and that I seem to go year after year after year like this, but…

    …if I can just muster up one fantasy where I can feel safe and secure and I can imagine myself holding someone and being held, having sex, feeling accepted, feeling free, etc., I feel a little better. The real frustration for me seems to come not from not having these things in my life as much as feeling like I’ll *NEVER* have them in my life.

    It feels like torture to feel like you’ll never belong in any community or in a relationship with anyone, that you’re doomed to a life of having your thoughts begin and end with you — no one will know your mind, no one will know your body. And then just watching the months and years creep by. That feels like hell. But even imagining what you think heaven on earth would be like can help. Maybe it’s just a result of my years of isolation and having an overactive imagination, but I feel better when I don’t feel threatened and I imagine someone loving me, and that I’m capable of loving and being loved and being happy.

    I wish I could say something to help anyone here, and I wish I could do something to help myself. I don’t want to offend anyone (myself included, strangely enough) by suggesting that fantasizing about a better life is going to really solve anything.

    But it’s a nice thought to me to think that, with everything I’ve been through, putting my head on someone’s lap and having them stroke my hair would make me feel so much better.

    I forgot, last time I was in the emergency room, another patient there put her hand on my knee and she sang me a lullaby. I think those kinds of things, in whatever way, shape or form, help the most. It’s amazing what can change inside a person when they feel like they’re wanted and that someone cares about their life.

    • Jocko

      HI Jib, you sound like the inside of my head, i wonder how similar our life experiences have been. I’m at the point too after so much hell that i too would love nothing more than to be held. Ive just been so far out into my psychotic little nightmare worlds, on the verge of a breakdown for so long that little things like that no longer seem little. I struggle with same problems that you do as well but I would take just genuine affection from someone who really got it than sex any day, though I’m also insanely horny as hell too, truth be told.

      I think i was not attached to my family well as a kid and its impacted my life ever since, I’ve always been a loner without even really wanting it or understanding why, always anxious, caught in my head, obsessively thinking, developmentally delayed. I think we don’t get enough love & affection as children and then we grow up into these self hating, stressed out adults who find so many things overwhelming. Lack of love makes everything hard, people don’t know how to comfort & soothe each other so they end up secluded in their own little hell worlds & call it mental illness, in a sick atomized society that’s destroyed communities and families for profit, that’s wiped away the very bonds that help us stay sane in the first place. So sad.

      When i was 14 I really lost it & almost starved myself to death, I was sent to a hospital Eating Disorder program and it felt like home to me at last, as sick as that sounds. Some of the girls there got it;i mean we’d lay in the back room and sleep together, even atop each other like pack animals or something, uninhibited. It made the adults uncomfortable. The more I look back to it now though the more I think that’s exactly how it was. We all needed lots of affection to calm our crazed nervous systems & release the bad feelings that makes us so disconnected & delusional in the first place. Its so simple but we don’t see it or don’t wanna or something…we’re animals first and foremost, not machines. But we can’t even give these things to our children anymore, it all moves too fast and we can’t stop acting & playing our societal roles.

      Sorry I dunno if I’m making any sense but I think alot about love & touching lately, not all of it dirty & your post really spoke to me. I hope you get what you need & definitely deserve

      • jake

        Hi ive just read your comment on that brainblogger website

        Amazing with you, you say your problems are caused by LACK OF LOVE in your family.

        Im the opposite I believe.

        My mother loved me too much, she always wrapped me up in cotton wool, never let me walk home alone , always opened the car door for me,etc…
        I guess on the other hand I never had a MALE father figure, not even a step dad that could teach me how to make friends or talk to women, I was never molested or anything, but I was bullied at high school, yr 9, 11,12 were the worst, that probably made my social anxiety even worse.
        have a nice day

        • Jocko

          I dunno if that’s real love Jake, that sounds like a narcissistic parent sucking her son dry to fill the hole in her soul, i mean going by what you’ve said elsewhere on here and your future attachment problems with people. If it was love would she have messed you up so bad…?

  • DonaLuna

    I gave a misdiagnosis of Bipolar 13 very long years. “it” gave me chronic, health issues and very enraged male children, now in their 30s.. In healing this, I had to look at everything, and that included childhood molestation before age 5 and a detached Mom , who ignored any and all signs or thought it normal to have myself and 2 sisters molested and not even acknowledge me…MY internal guidance thus was never fully developed.. And life lessons brought me a very detached and ego driven man, that did not reveal this until I was pregnant with our 1st son. My heart broke at his involvement and participation in our marriage and childrearing, and that was an off and on like must abused woman I stayed for those better day and so my sons would have a Dad..and by then I had been made to feel I was of little value in the world
    A severe spastic colon led to an MD prescribing Xanax in 89, and not knowing the drugs highly addictive chemistry, I became addicted and took 5 per day and filled out, of course looking very crazy.. it was spiritual and had I had anyone approach me on that level , I might have not accepted the bipolar tag 4 years later, when I was exhausted, and very weary of a partner who was void and my opposite.. No more denial, I was sure psychiatry would “fix” me.. And oh yes, legalized addiction , isolation , and finally abandonment, divorce and alienation thrust on my sons by examples of abuse, neglect, disclaimers, and competitive women , who barely contained their contempt for me.. Stay at home MOms, in 39 could be locked away in a psychiatric hospital if their spouse stated she did not clean house well!!!!
    In 04, a med change threw me into “mania” and I heeded my wake up call, and that truth must rule. Legal one up man ship, and personal ego and power, made my sons part of this for their friend(detached) Dad, and perhaps anger at seeing me so helpless, so over medicated and NO one aided me…Medical, social, or legal(even when paid) or family.
    Waking meant facing things head on and at first it was like a holocaust, so much better when supported by others and that happened through social media.
    I never gave up on my kids,or myself even after FPO, set backs, and hearing out right lies. I have 13 years of charts , legal files and many notes and memories and find this situation is not so uncommon, and I intend on speaking out on the side effects on FAMILIES, when one is diagnosed and treated, which can stem from trauma, and not being supported and heard.

    The “can” of worms, of every human, physical ,mental and emotional emotion, and reaction, be termed a mental illness, which is a co joined effort with the Big Pharma Industry , and others who wish a dumbed down people, so they can destroy morality, families, healthy mind/body/spirit.

    I am setting up a blog, and will address these issues and more.. Mean time, Richard I believe would be interested in a book.or 2
    Spiritual Clearings Burney
    Psychic Empowerment for Health and Fitness Slate
    Energy Medicine and Energy Medicine C Norman Shealy, MD PhD.

    It is not change it is waking up.. It is an INSIDE OUT job..

    Peace & Blessings
    Dona Luna

    • richard

      dona,
      i am very sorry about everything you’ve been going through. i am very sorry you experienced what you did when you were younger than 5. it made me cry. i wish i could do something for you. on the energy work stuff. im quoting frank zappa on this, ” look here brother, who you jiving with that cosmik debris!”

      i was involved with energy healers and self proclaimed powerful wisemen. please, please, please, please stay away from all that occult trash. the hubris of most of these powerful people is unbelievable, found i had nothing in common with any of it. it really messed me up bad, and i got very physically sick from it as well. it is evil at its core, it is all pretty tricks, tickles your flesh and feeds your pride. it is not to be trusted. i only went to that trash because i sought out the truth, and through going through that, i ended up finding it.

      jesus is the truth, he is the life, he is the way. has nothing to do with my personal standing/opinion. all i wanted was to be set free by the truth, and thats what led me to readin the bible again.

      please, stay away from that garbage. it is the age of deceit and the last thing people like you and me need is intricate delusions disguised as spirituality. truth is what we need, not this garbage about choosing your own reality and the endless concepts and precepts that the new age champions. again, i beg of you, stay away from it please! i have experience. the truth suits each of us better.

      Leviticus 19:31
      “‘Regard not those who have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards to be defiled by them: I am the Lord your God.”

      the truth to this statement is so powerful and so reflects my personal experience that you cannot imagine.
      STAY.
      AWAY.
      i will be praying for you, i know i dont know you hardly at all, but I love you, i hope your life becomes filled with peace. i am sorry for the pain of your past. more days come for a reason. <3

      love,
      richard

      • Paul

        Richard,

        It does not matter what you believe in , as long as you are happy as you can be, and stay within the law, as best a person can.

        • DonaLuna

          I am a poet, I did have near death in the first week of my birth, I have had many experiences, raised latch keep, detached MOther, many childhood diseases , I was molested. The soul can only take so much and when I took toxic to me meds I lost myself in legal addiction, isolation, my every fear realized.. I have aquired “tools’ faith and support by doing this(healing) and doing so largely unassisted and in fact told I could not, would not I proved to myself my worthiness and my love for life and my kids

          Blessings & Peace

  • Doina Luna

    Richard

    I am very secure in my spirituality and the many reasons and am here, and the who what where and when of my life story. I have accepted that I co created with God, who wishes that for all of us, like the good parent, he always has time.. I am prepared now, for life unfolding at the pace it should, and that I had many life lessons , both good and bad that have educated me as only life can to be who I am now. I adore discussions and debate, but I am secure in the divine love of such power that it is in every aspect of my life and that to many is God. He is not in a specific place but everywhere including my heart. That has been tested enough, and I respect the rights of other to be and express who they are and how they *see* god I own that concept for myself.. Living hell on earth, many times over, can lead to the cross over after successfully,of Heaven on earth, putting one blessing, after the other into understanding of deserving love and receiving love, beginning with self, and that is how my god gives love, Waking one up, who was asleep for safety from breaking under further abuse and trauma .
    Medications for that should be temporary, not addictive of harmful to the mind or body

    Peace & Blessings

  • richard

    yes, i understand where you guys are coming from about religion. i find that what works best for people is the truth and, im sure you all have some experience with delusions and know that they arent good for your health. the truth has nothing to do with my own opinion, it just is and has always been which is nice for me, its easy to argue the truth vs the rest of everything else that isnt the truth and it doesnt ride on my pride.

    having been in both Paul’s and Dona’s positions in my life for basically all of it; that being as lawful as you can, and never putting emphasis on what beliefs others have has proven to not work, especially having the illnesses i do i find that throughout my life i have broken more laws than non sick people and have therefore been marginalized more than most and therefore convicted and abandoned. there is more to it than that, thats why there is the book about it.

    on all the occult stuff, that is 100% garbage and is basically hardcore poison for your soul, period. it encourages you towards pride and hubris. like all that stuff about being co-creators of the universe. the presumption and arrogance of new age thought continuously blows my mind. i truly despise the endless lies of today, it all has only 1 purpose- to make you believe anything but the truth and to keep good people from God. it has nothing to do with opinon, and has everything to do with the way it actually is. and i sure am glad i didnt have to meditate and level up many times as a wizard so that i become much more powerful than you so as to be able to be qualified enough to convince you with all my spells and magic powerz.

    in this life, truth is required. in sicknesses marked by delusions and paranoia and demonic attacks, its nice to know what the truth is and not being able to choose whatever works for you, which i have found, to my great pain and confusion having been misled in thinking this way, is absolutely a corrupt way of looking at reality. the pride of asserting that one was with God and helped him create all that is and that we are equal, almost a direct quote from Satan: “ye shall be as Gods”. but all this new age trash isnt new, has been around forever. has been and will forever be false.

    if i didnt care about anyone here i would never have said anything. the truth sets you free, not your ambition and your personal power and your self worth, those things are just pride in disguise, and i dont rely on pride for anything other than being a crutch i must remove.

    if anyone reading this has any interest in maintaining sanity, which i believe is of importance- speaking from deeply entrenched intimate experience- you will stay away from the evil lies and delightful deceptions of the New Age, which basically cover so many different things nowadays that its like being caught in a web, a gigantic web weaved by the same evil spider.

    throughout the suffering in my life it has been made abundantly clear to me that there is without doubt, evil principalities that rule this world and that there are many hosts of spiritual wickedness in the heavenly places and that war is not with flesh. i feel so wartorn from my experiences, this life has been lived amongst a spiritual war. mental illness has essentially been spiritual warfare.

    i will not be defecting to the deceptions offered by the evil one who will get you to believe anything as long as it isnt the truth. from abundant experience, i have seen through all these phony new age concepts which are constantly repeated in various forms and spin offs and have learned the ways in which the devil operates. being people who have mental illnesses or similar experiences therein, the invincible truth is essential to recovery and any sort of stability. so in terms of the importance of what you believe, this is where it is.

    i mean, if what the new agers think is true and we are actually gods if we meditate long enough to realize it, why would we have so much experiences having our minds turn on us, even our very own bodies? the arguments that new age philosophy would have you believe in order to solve these issues are the very paths that lead to destruction. i say that having been down those paths and believing the lies and, though i could not understand why it was important, following my own prideful powers lead me to the unassailable conclusions that cannot be dislodged by further delusions presented to me in the face of the crystal clear truth.

    “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes on Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

    i love everyone here, please here me out, please dont try to hurt me.
    i hope everyone finds peace
    richard

  • richard

    http://www.the-new-way.org/testimonies/conv_newage_01_inside_the_new_age_nightmare.html

    if you are still strong in your beliefs, which i completely sympathize with, having been there before, read this. the devil doesnt let go of those he thinks he had enslaved as i have found out, and this man has found out. this is a pretty amazing story regardless of what you believe.

    • Paul

      Richard

      You are quoting and referencing something that you believe is fact. There are many in this world , who neither believe in religion or spirituality.

      Just because a person does not believe in religion the default position does not become, a belief in spirituality or the occult.

      I myself neither believe in religion , spirituality or the occult.

      In response to

      ‘i love everyone here, please here me out, please dont try to hurt me.’

      No one wants to hurt you , people just believe in different things and some, as I, don’t believe in anything.

      • richard

        paul,

        it is the truth though apart from what i believe, it was the truth before i came to it and it will be if i leave it. i did not accuse you of occult. i was saying that the occult (common new age spirituality like energy healing, theology, shamanism, spirit helper-related modalities, all of which i have participated in) is complete poison for your soul, and if one has an illness already, they dont need more poison. i mean the meds are enough poison.

        but when i had the occult poisoning me along with my illnesses, and along with psychotic medications (a descriptive word for how insane these meds are and how hit and miss they are and how no one actually knows how to help the cause, only symptoms), it tends to not be the solution. i pasted a link of a testimony of someone who was a successful author and practicioner who was steeped in the new age spirituality and its many facets and he nearly died from his involvement in it, if you care to read it explains it.

        i find that people tend to disbelieve without ever trying, i know a lot of people who think chrisitanity is silly because of their wrong perception of what it even is, and having never read any part of the bible. i do not come to accuse or to harm, i come to prevent others from making the same mistakes i have, nothing good comes from the occult. i say that without opinion, but complete fact. i would be dead if i hadnt been freed from its bondage. it is not wrong of me to wish that no one else goes through that, nor is it a matter what i believe or not believe. it is experience, and a warning that is separate from pride (new age thought cannot be separated from pride) and i do not want people to suffer as i have suffered. i dont want people to fall into that trap.

        farwell,
        richard

  • Karen

    Well I had a nervous breakdown not long ago and can’t bear to be around people and interestingly enough, though Joe Bloggs in the street calls me mental, or barking, all the doctors and counsellors I have ever seen in my life have said there is nothing wrong with me bar anxiety. Like someone said, the rest of the world really is crazy and if you have the opportunity to opt out of as much as is possible/ reasonable, then do it. I find when socializing with others that I am just wasting my time, they don’t bring me anything extra and I would rather be at home inside my own head working on my projects. I couldn’tcare less who did what to whom, or who the latest X Factor contestant is.

    We have to stop seeing this sort of thing as an illness and own it. I find being around certain people makes me feel physically sick, and why, because they are the kind of characters that wouldn’t do me or anyone else any good.

    I rest my case.

    • jake

      Hi Karen

      I sense a lot of anger in you, how do I know because I was the same, I still sort of am the same but I have learnt to control my thinking.

      Anytime someone I don’t like the look of starts talking to me, I just try my best and smile and nod my head, I used to get angry and start saying what do u want etc… but I have learnt me getting angry MAKES ME ANGRY, I have learnt to stay calm.

      What depressed socially anxious people who have no friends like me need to do is stay calm, what angers me most is when I see happy couples walking along holding hands, but I have learnt in my mind to instead of saying to myself I hate them etc.. I say to myself I force myself to think, what a lovely couple,. they must be happy, I wish I could find a pretty lady like that to be my GF, and that’s it.

      I find staying calm and not getting upset is the best strategy.

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  • Jocko

    Hey Jib, I understand you

    Im beginning to think so much of the craziness ive gone through is because i wasn’t attached properly to my own family and its made life thoroughly isolating & hellish. I struggle with the same problems you do….and can think of nothing better anymore than just being held & touched, not even sexually. Little human affections that seem so rare. We don’t get enough of it as kids in this insane society, it makes for thoroughly ungrounded, stressed out, self hating traumatized people. There’s no fuckin love its all a big routine, no one knows how to comfort each other there’s no real community anymore everything’s been atomized, we can’t do emotions very well so we end up stuck in nightmare worlds, cut off from reality, &running our hamster wheels. And alot of the people you’ll meet in mental health are some of the coldest most detached MF’s already. Your supposed to cradle & nurse wounded animals, not drug & shame them more & make what they’re feeling into a dysfunctional identity to follow them around for life.
    We’re so ignorant, this stuff could be alot simpler than we make it but hey, so much $$$ involved.

    Rant over

  • Jocko

    cont

    I almost starved myself to death when i was 14 because my parents divorced then my mom got cancer and i was going into high school too, just too much too fast, brain no work. I remember it finally felt like home, sick as that was, cause they were other girls who sorta got it and we’d all sleep in the back room together, sometimes on each other like pack animals or something. It made the adults sort of uncomfortable. The more i look back at it, the more i think of it that way and that we all needed alot of affection as a way to ground our crazed nervous systems & release all the negative feelings that mess you up and get you delusional & disconnected in the first place. Its just that were so inhibited in this society, touching is all about sex now or people don’t want you in their personal bubble at all. Its all very alienated from the roots of what we are- animals at our being, not machines like we seem to want to be with our iphones and crazy jobs & our go go go 24/7.

    thanks for letting me rant, i get obsessive

  • Jocko

    and i see my post under jib actually was posted so i apologize for all these other posts down here

  • Kal

    I was a lonely kid, especially after my parents split then it seemed to get alot worse and i was always stuck in my head with all sorts of phobias, OCD and neurotic stuff, I’d bite my fingers till they bled and got infected all the time. You just fall out of synch with other people or something. I was trying to get out on my own finally because I’m like a big idiot man child but i kind of lost it and had to move back in with my mom but then she got cancer and died and my grandfather died that year too and my uncle died the next and my gramma the next, like just one thing after another and i had to move out on my own again really quickly and i ended up in a basement (naturally) and just became a bit of a recluse for the last 4 years with nothing but the PC to connect which wasn’t healthy at all because my anxiety just got worse and i think i had a bunch of psychotic breaks just from the stress of what I was unconsciously doing to myself, all this paranoid God & conspiracy stuff. Now I’m in DBT which seems to help but I don’t feel like I’ll ever really connect to anyone ever again, i mean i have no job or license & I’m on stupid welfare….i just drifted into this, its amazing. I live in a town that’s almost like a city now and its like torture to be surrounded by people everywhere but be completely disconnected & on your own. How do we people live like this, crammed together & totally impersonal because its really really hurts me; i don’t know how they keep their walls up so well or keep on acting all the time & doing their routines. I want so bad to touch someone, its like a hunger & I’m sure it’d help me calm down so much better but everything is so formal & repressed and you cant just touch people or ask to be held, especially if your a guy, then weakness is extra repulsive. I don’t know what I’m going to do, everything has always been hard for me & i feel really ashamed alot, its hard to let go

    thanks for listening,
    good luck whoever you are

    • jake

      hi KAL
      that last part of your writing is exactly how I feel.

      I live in a city if 2million and im a loner.

      I do have a full time job as a courier but I never make any friends, when I do talk to people its always about business or sign here have a nice day.

      I do dream of touching a woman, of running my hands through her hair, and not because im paying her but because she is my GF, ive never had that in my life, id rather have a pretty GF than win the lotto, I would treat her so well and care for her etc…unfortunately im socially akward and im a recluse, and woman scare me to be honest, asking a woman out, id rather walk into a lions cage or pick up a snake than ask a woman out.

      Maybe its meant to be.

      have a nice day and try not to think about what you DONT have, think about what u do have.
      I have NO friends, NO GF, but I do have a full time job, I do have a car, I do have an apartment, so I try to think about what I do have, even though it helps less and less every day.

      I just so wish to have a GF I can love and care for and touch and cuddle, im so sad right now, but I must go on.

  • 8643

    I’m a 33 year old male. Pretty much am an empty shell, I have given up but too scared to kill myself for fear of a hell in which I will be sent. If there is a heaven I’m ready. I don’t plan on having kids, relationships have always failed due to who I am. I was living at my sisters for 5 months, then had enough. I sold my car and went on a hitchhiking trip hoping to not come back. It was fun at first but the isolation and homeless feel kicked in. But it was an experience. I’m back at my parents house and refuse to get a job and try to start over. Maybe I’ll kill myself, or go be homeless. If I could afford an ayuascha experience I would. It’s hell. All of this

    • Kal

      Hi 86 i feel you man. I’ve thought about Ayuascha too though I’m afraid too of what she might do to me at the same time, like give me more hell; some of those stories do sound wonderful though. Please hang in there, there are so many people who feel like you do, we’re all in hell together.

    • jake

      86, I feel your pain, if you’ve read any of my previous comments youll know about my pain in life.

      At least you still have your parents to live with, that’s what concerns me most about my life, I only have a mom, shes still health but shes in her 60’s, when she dies I will be completely alone, I have a cousin but I only talk to her 3 times a yr and only very small talk , she dosent even know I have no friends and that ive never had a GF, I fear of what will become of me when mom does, ill be completely alone with my thoughts and my problems, I can call one of those mens help lines but every time you can there is a different person on the other end so every day you have to explain your life history to a new person in those mens help phone lines.

      all the best anway 86, try to think what u do have not what u don’t have.

  • 8643

    The love is gone. After teaching myself to grow mushrooms and learning how to use them properly I became immensely spiritual. I realized what millions of people failed to see all around them everyday of their lives. But because of circumstances I stopped my growing. Everything I have learned has faded. I don’t recall the saying, but what I learned is like bathing we must do it everyday. But the society we live in mushrooms are illegal and frowned upon. Pot is slowly making its way back but the western world is so fucked and controlled by evil. If only you could take a depressed person, put them on a mountain top during a sunrise, give them some herb and let them be for a moment. They’ll experience true love in its purest form. I’ve found solace in this experience. I hike quite often to escape, go off trail, and just disappear. Away from the pressures. Everything we need to survive comes from the earth. But things have gotten so twisted. I feel old, with Instagram and vine and these things, it’s putting us further from where we need to be. Like I mentioned I gave up. I’m done with waking up, going to work, coming home, repeat. I’ll either become homeless or another suicide victim, but I’ll try somehow to make the rest of my life mine. I’ve sat around and done nothing for 2 months now. Taking advantage of a roof over my head and free food for as long as I can before I become homeless. I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in years. Not having to feel the stresses of work, live paycheck to paycheck, go to work and be unappreciated, feeling people hate me for being antisocial. My isolation has reached its all time low as of now. But I find comfort in it. I’ve never been able to relate. I’m now what society considers useless, my position angers people. I sit around and do nothing. No woman would ever want a man like me, I’ve accepted that. I have given up, in its purest most raw form. Waiting to see what’s on the other side. I’m drowning in guilt and shame every second. There is no hope and there never will be. There is no fix and there never will be. We are destined to become more empty. Technology is moving at light speed. We will never see what the sky actually looks like at night, we will never understand why they worshipped the sky and stars so much. But we must move forward right, make living, buying things, communicating easier. All while loosing the interaction of one soul to another. I selfishly wish for a disaster, for the power grids to fail. Sadly people depending on machines to live would die. There is no humane reversal of where we are to where we need to be. I’m just a speck of dust wishing everything would go back to primitive days. Throwing away man kinds hard work of curing diseases, inventing forms of transportation, and making us more out of contact with the one true source. I’m just another lazy, lost, depressed, hopeless speck of dust on this rock in this universe. Soon to be homeless or a suicide victim. I see happiness, I know what it would take for me personally, but societies walls and road blocks will never let me reach that. I’ve been so isolated and in the dark for years, it’s sad. Aimlessly floating, paying taxes just to have to pay them even more come tax time. Buying what they want. Watching what they present. When all I want I’m told I cannot have. An imaginary force telling me I can’t. Their fear is instilled in me. I’d sacrifice my life to pull the plug on their system, to free us all. They know it all. The visitations, the assassinations, the abuse in the churches, the deals with the drug cartels, the secrets, the asteroid paths, the spending of billions on wars for profit, they know it all. I’m forced to work, buy, and repeat. The little things I ask for are labeled as illegal. My guilt for knowing they help me is immeasurable. Yet they do it, earn millions, and pull our strings. I can only end it one way, to end my movie. While theirs will play on for generations to come. Maybe there’s a silent revolution. At this point I’m just blabbering on. I’m cold, dead, and alone. What will become of my next few months on this planet.

  • Kal

    86 there are so many who feel crushed by everything, that’s what they want, to hollow us out of whatever makes us human, you know that. Ive been in my basement cave for years obsessing about the same stuff, feeling like the lowest piece of sh*t on the face of the planet, I still do most of the time. You sound too isolated in your head….to know this dark stuff that most people ignore to keep going like the machines they want so badly to be can drive you nuts if you’re processing everything alone, it can reinforce whatever hurt you’ve already got and start this endless feedback loop of utter hopelessness in your head, I mean that’s how it was for me. Everything got so dark & heavy.

    People seem so disconnected on their damn iphones & star trek pads, i know, it makes you feel all alone, to be so close and yet so far away from all these pod people who are everywhere; its torture. Just seeing this stuff is hard, you shouldn’t do it all alone its too much. Shame eats you up inside, you can’t trust the twisted funhouse reflection it gives you, if you can deal with that toxic shame the love can come back. I hope you can hear me.

  • jake

    Hu guys
    Im a 31yr old male, I don’t have schitzophrenia, thankfully, but I do have depression and im socially very awkward and anxious.

    Although its a miracle I have a full time job and can manage my bills, my job keeps me somewhat sane because it keeps my brain occupied and I have less time thinking about my awefull life.

    My only friend, is my mom, but she makes me feel like im 17, not a fully grown man, shes always giving me advice when I don’t need it as well. I do have a cousin but I hardly talk to her, I cant talk to her about deep issues except the weather.

    I don’t have any actual male friends I can call up, what im afraid of most is when my mom dies, im gonna be completely alone, im not even gonna have anyone to talk to at all.

    Im 31yrs old ive never had a girlfriend, never even been on a date before, mainly because im too scared to ask woman out, I work, come home, eat, sleep and do it all over again, I only get Saturdays off and even than I don’t feel like doing anything.

    When im in a crowd like in bar I get nervous and I just wanna go home, but when im home alone, I start getting depressed that im alone ive got no friends no G/F, nothing.

    Ive tried anti depressants but I couldn’t take the side effects, severe nausea, heart palpitation etc…

    I talked to my dr he told me even if I found a good anti depressant it wont change my personality, ill still be afraid of asking women out and still be shy and awkward etc…

    Sometimes I wonder if its just meant to be, me and my personality, for some reason, maybe god just wants me to be alone and lonely.

    I must find someone to talk too besides my mother, because when she is gone ill be completely alone, if my car breaks down I have no one to call to help, if I ever wanna move out ill have no one to help me or offer advice to me.

    Is there any cure for my social awkwardness and depression and lack of self esteem and lack of friends etc…

    My work is going well, but my social life and sex life is no existant, and I know this is very bad for my mental health.

    anyone offer any advice. thanks.

  • Kal

    Hi Jake, Its great you have a job & a car. That seems alot to a person like me, you’re taking care of yourself at least. You are right about not focusing on what you don’t have too, that’s true. Its hard to let go of old stuff though, part of me likes feeling just horrible and its been in charge for a long time.

    I know from my experience that my mom was too close & controlling and it really screwed me up in alot of ways that I’m still trying to fix. One of those ways is having real attachment problems with other people since it was always only ever me and my mother, alone on our own. Maybe this has affected you as well in your own life?

    I dunno, phone lines suck you’re right about that but maybe they can suggest someone to help you in person?

  • Kal

    I want to rant more, the last couple posts sounded too much like me….I don’t care who reads, I’m tired of being Caspar the friendly ghost. I never had a dad, even when I visited him once a week after my parents split he was always a complete stranger. A guy should have a guy to show him how to be a guy, if he doesn’t he could turn out weak and crazy from fear like me. Mothers can suck you dry and not even know they’re doing it, they might think they’re protecting you but they’re really just cutting your balls off, using you. If you model yourself on a woman and you’re a guy no wonder you get mental problems, I can’t describe the damage. My parent’s weren’t mature enough to have kids, I’m starting to think that’s most adults now. Its not fair to give your kids your pain, you should know who you actually are before you pass it down to the next generation…don’t just have kids cause that’s what everyone else is doing! I don’t get how they’re can be SO many broken families now and yet something that basic isn’t grasped….why are you people so completely insane? They put it all on people like us but I know the truth- you got no idea, you’re all asleep at the wheel & can’t see whats coming. How are you supposed to be a healthy strong man if your legs get knocked out from under you as a kid? Limping through life is as much fun as it sounds. I’m so f*cking flabbergasted at this mess, this mess most of you have like willed yourselves not to see, this merry-go-round. I wanna break your godd@mn screen phones & scream in your faces.

    • jake

      Hi KAL

      Your never gonna believe this, I have a DATE, its 4pm where I am now and im supposed to meet her in a café at 6.30pm, she is Asian but I “met” her online, she has a photo of me, yes I am nervous.

      You know what the weird part is, wanting to go on a date is what ive wanted the most, im 32 and never been on a date before, but every time I think about me and her in a café, its like I couldn’t be bothered, part of me WANTS TO BE A LONER!!!
      I know this is insane, 50% of me wants a GF and to have someone, but the other 50% of me likes to be a loner, even though I realise when my mom dies I will be 100% alone and it will be scary having no one, but its like im so set in my ways, ive been a loner since I was 3yrs old.

      What should I do, I will meet this woman, shes 29yrs old for a coffee, because I would feel bad standing her up, but I really couldn’t be bothered trying to get a GF and trying to be a nice guy, I think im just gonna meet her once and that’s it.
      KAL I hope you at least try to understand me.

      Why do I feel this way?

      Why is it when im alone and isolated I want a GF and a date so bad, but when I have a date set up (for the 1st time time in my life) im not even that excited and I couldn’t be bothered going anyway. There will be other people in the café and I hate crowds, she told me what shell be wearing and she is Asian, from her photos she is about a 6.5/10 (when im looking at her photo and im horny,lol) she is about a 5.5/10 when I looking at her photo and im NOT horny)

      WHY AM I LIKE THIS??
      Is it just because im so set in my ways and im so used to being isolated from normal relationships that im scared and couldn’t be bothered going for a coffee with this woman?

      Should I FIGHT it and try my hardest to be nice and friendly?
      and fight my desire to just be a loner forever.
      Even though I might not form a sexual relationship with her, at least I can ask her to the movies next week, that’s better than nothing isn’t it?

      Any advice KAL or anyone.
      Kal I hope your hanging in there.

  • Kal

    You’re probably used to being a loner like you said…? I know I am, I have to fight the urge to isolate because I feel so ashamed and self hating and just out-of-synch/slow around people since I was a kid. It depends which part of you you want to listen to…the part that wants relationships with people or the part that wants to isolate & be a loner, which you want more. Congrats on getting a date.

    • jake

      Hi KAL, I went on that date with that Asian woman I found online, I was nervous be to my surprise I talked with her for a whole 1hr, and there were lots of people around, id rate her about a 6.5/10 so she ISNT hot, but she is not ugly either, she is slim so that’s at least a “bonus”, to be honest I thought going on a date would be extremely exciting, but in fact it wasent really as good as I thought it was gonna be.

      Sure it was x100 better than going for a coffee with my mom, because if I do that I know people are looking at me thinking is that his mom or his older GF?
      I haven’t been with mom to a restaurant for about 8yrs, its just too nerve racking for me.

      Kal can I share something else with you buddy, im NOT a religious guy at all really, I believe in evolution, but I think God gave me this date and potential GF. I have prayed to god for the last 3mnts, (even though I don’t really believe in him) and have told god in my prayers, I don’t care about getting rich, I don’t care if my stocks go up, I don’t care if I have a good profitable day at my business, all I want is a GF, is that so much to ask for god.

      I seriously said this prayer every day for months and than this woman from this dating website wants to chat to me, just out of the blue, I know its probably coincidence, but it could also be a miracle. To me getting a date is a miracle, and that she actually turned up and WASENT some fat woman in a wheelchair was a bonus,lol

      what I liked most about this date, was when I paid for both of us , it made me feel like a man, for the 1st time in my life, im serious KAL, no one,not my mom especially, not my boss, NO ONE has let me be a real man, but when I paid for coffee for the both of us, it made me feel masculine for the first time in my life.
      You can comprehend this right KAL, you know what im getting at right?
      This woman trusted me because she got in the car with me as well, that made me feel masculine as well, she didn’t know that im really guy but just shy, for all she knew I could have been a serial killer (im not of course) I like that she trusted me.
      I wanted to hold hands with her, but I was too shy to try, but at the end when I dropped her off near her house I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek once.

      I know this must sound like something trivial, and it is, don’t forget im 32yrs old and this was the 1st date of my life.

      Sorry to have bored you with my writing KAL, I hope you have as good a week as is possible for you, take care man.

  • http://brainblogger.com/2006/05/15/anti-stigmatization-social-isolation-and-mental-illness/ Deanna

    Hi wow have been having a bad down day.. I hate the person I have become in this world. Feels like every day is so dark.. I can relate to everything written in the article I have suffered from severe depression for years but has got much worse over the past 5 years to the point things have broken down so much in my life that I am homeless.
    I am on a few different meds but just now have never looked up things that are part of my depression and one thing I have always done is Isolate myself from the world I have never found anyone who I can relate to or trust in to talk to not even in the mental health industry so this in itself hasn’t been much help as my Dr just keeps changing my dosages and then changes my meds again etc nothing is pin pointed or rounded up and makes me feel like im not in control as Im not sure what the hell is going on with me… thanks for the article I found it good to read something I can relate to now just to find the other pieces to the puzzle so I can just become happy n do normal every day things n be with my family again :) seems like that day will never come.

  • cc

    I had 12 siblings, who often used me as entertainment and would stare and tease me till I cried and then they would laugh. Not that it was their fault, our parents were non existent in our lives. I was never once told I was loved as a little girl. Was never tucked into bed. Never got a “atta girl” for bringing home straight A’s. The emotional pain I feel has only gotten worse over the years. I have read every psychology book related to childhood trauma I could, and I have tried many kinds of therapy as well, including EMDR. My therapist is amazed at the depth of understanding I have as it relates to my own abuse and how it has and continues to negatively impact my life. However, even with the insight I have, it seems I am just more and more isolated and feeling no desire for much human interaction. I have one grown daughter and 2 darling grandsons I see about once a week. I too love to do crafts of all kinds. Lately I’ve been crocheting. I abuse drugs and have most of my adult life because it’s the only thing I have. I feel very misunderstood and have often wondered why when people have a physical illness everyone gives them sympathy, and wants to take care of them, but when someone has a severe emotional or mental illness, which is causes them profound suffering, everyone shuns them or calls them nuts, losers, drug addicts….which just makes the BPD worse and the pain deeper and hurt even more. Today I was doing a Google search trying to find out why when I have a deep understanding into my traumas, how they affected my life and actually an above average understanding of early childhood and brain development, why is it I still can’t heal and really to be honest, I’m getting worse. About a year ago I moved into an apartment ALONE. I had never lived alone before in my life (I’m 53), but I could no longer cope with people, whether it was my ex psychopathic husband or my multiple family members, who don’t know the meaning of love and have abused me my whole life. If I did not use drugs, I swear I would be locked in a padded room. I CANNOT COPE WITHOUT THE DRUGS. I have tried, and tried and tried, and it’s like I don’t even have the desire to interact with humans anymore (except for my daughter and grandson’s as I mentioned above). I try and stay connected to my faith in the holy spirit, I’ve been in and out of therapy for years. And quite frankly, when I read about the damage being ignored and abused as a child causes to one’s brain, I really question if I am able to heal. Living alone ….I love it! I can do whatever I want without considering anyone else, so I have chosen to use drugs and do art work. The depths of sorrow I would feel if I had to face the lonely wasteland my life has become…I just cannot accept how abandoned, lost and unloved I have always been. I have a “plan” to try and start a health regiment this spring and try and loose some weight. Maybe that will jump start some spark back into my soul…..but all I can do right now is one day at a time…..and sometimes I don’t even handle that very well. I recently read that BPD is the among the worst of mental illnesses, and most definitely the most painful, and very often they are the most rejected by society. Thanks society, I really appreciate that!

  • http://www.yoursite66.com ethan

    i need some ideas for a blog. i already do poems and surveys on it but i wanna talk about something..

  • England

    When I was very little, about 2-3 when I started pre-school I remember feeling very lonely from the start although I was told by my parents I was excitable and friendly as a child. I don’t remember ever being that way, ever since that time I was isolated and relentlessly bullied by everyone in the school up to year 6 until I moved to a school closer to home. When I got there the bullying wasn’t as bad to begin with because I could start again but I made a few friends who stuck with me through high school, I was very shy and already suffering anxiety and depression because of my previous experience. Even though the bullying was much worse in upper school I still had those people and made more friends there. I still felt very lonely and depression hit me hard a few times making it hard to keep those friends but my loyalty to them paid off. Apparently they weren’t so loyal though as when I left half way through my A levels to get a job (after a breakdown) they all stopped talking to me and seemed completely uninterested in me; it was at that point that I just felt angry and betrayed by all those people I had quite literally been beaten up for and I was left on my own for a long time. Even now because of all this I have become lonelier and lonelier to the point that i realized i wasn’t “used to it” like I once said, in fact i was just in denial and its more painful and harder to bare now. So, i’m pretty sure I understand the entire reason/trauma or whatever that led to me feeling so lonely but its the fixing it that I cant seem to do.

    All I want is someone that could love me because I’ve proved to myself over the years despite what happened to me that I can be loyal and very loving to someone else precisely because I understand the feeling of loneliness and I can’t bare to let other people feel it, although finding someone like that for me is harder to achieve than it is to say, hence things are still just as lonely and I’ve quite recently given up on the very idea as a delusion in its self. The three relationships I had weren’t bad but they had their moments although the memories i have no longer seem real, like they’re a dream or someone else’s story that I am remembering instead.

    I just wanted to put this out there, I don’t care who reads it, this is just the tiny bit of hope I know I still have although I keep telling myself its useless; 18 years of loneliness, anyone else?

  • Greg Kinard

    As a sufferer of Bi-Polar and Sckitzo-effective disorder, it really derailed me that so many people wish to be known to care… When they don’t – How about leave me alone. You took my wife, my hope of kids, and now my livelihood… leaving me with no hope. And you want to make nice? So you can say, “I am friends with the mentally ill? I don’t get your love Nor your respect… Don’t give me a cookie that’s made with “Crushed Glass” – Greg Kinard

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